Thoughts at end of life

As I reflect at this time of my life my ALS diagnosis has made me realize my independent lifestyle was misdirected. I learned too late how dependent on God’s provision of daily needs we really are. As of this writing I am without use of my hands or voice, reduced to typing by eye gaze technology, cradled in a hightech powered wheelchair. I must use a sling to get placed into a hospital bed, where I attempt to sleep a few hours before my mouth dries out.

I share this not to complain, but to demonstrate God’s loving provision of my needs on a daily basis. I am utterly helpless in my own strength. I feel cradled in palm of God’s hand like never before. I wish I could have learned such dependence in an easier manner but my path here was my of my own choosing.

I should have shown more kindness, expressed my love more freely and told family how proud I was of them more often. I am so thankful for God’s hand on my life. Even though my very breath is failing I will praise my God who loves me through all this and will take me to live with Him when I’m done serving on this earth.

If this is my last post I want to encourage you to yield your life to Christ and depend upon Him daily based on the promises in God’s holy Word (Bible). When all is done you will hear Him say well done!


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Simple Pleasures

March has been packed full of events thus far with little free time and much to share.  It snowed a bit to start things off but spring seems to be here already in full force.  We had record high temps and green grass is appearing quickly after a couple days of light rain.

We started the month at a “Week End to Rememmber” marriage conference in Appleton, WI which we enjoyed immensely.  Its a refreshing time to adjust our focus and share our hearts in a relaxing gettaway without distraction.

After a busy week we got word that our 7th grandson was about to be born so we drove to LaCrosse to be on hand.  Got a great deal on a hotel room and a decent night sleep before we learned that Deondra was admitted and soon to deliver.  Baby Jude arrived several hours later

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Changes for the better…

It is a cold night in mid January, typical for this time of year but a bit hard to take after the unusual warm spell not long past.  Christmas seems like a blur with so much new to adjust to as Sandy and I found new employment in refreshing places.  It is a big adjustment after nearly 19 years in one place.  I might have lasted there longer but while I was busy working, the company became a big machine that just did not fit my personality well any more.

There are just 20 people at my new company and I feel very blessed.   I now enjoy working closely with both of my sons as much as possible (in separate industries).

My children collectively bought me an IPad 2 for Christmas which I greatly enjoy.  IPad is a big change for me to get used to, but it does awesome things.  Maybe I can still learn a few new tricks.  I will be traveling out of country soon with my new job. It will be very nice to carry a featherweight IPad instead of a laptop, and yet be well connected.

It seems new communication methods are everywhere, but I’m not sure it holds a candle to face to face encounters.  It does bring family together over long distances with growing ease however.  Today I linked my Google Voice account to my new OBi100 VOIP telephone adapter creating a very low cost home phone system that makes calls free or low cost almost anywhere and accessible from remote devices (no PC required).  I shall enjoy further testing.

I look forward to hearing one of my sons preach the sermon at our church next week.  It will be a most invigorating topic that will be greatly used to stretch our congregation’s faith as we undertake a new church plant.  The vision is to provide area young people a special place to belong.  Not yet sure what God has in store, but our focus is being shaped as a result of prayer.  More on that later.

I am proud to be awaiting the delivery of our seventh grandchild in March.  This will be the first baby for Deondra. Deondra and Steve are very excited.   I just hope Sandy and I  can attend Family Life’s “Weekend to Remember” for couples before the baby decides to come.

Sandy and I are now learning how to eat all over again.  It seems our government educators and network news providers have had their facts very wrong on most dietary recommendations.  Many are now being disproven with ease.  Go figure.  Seems everything I thought I knew is now changing somehow.

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Days in the Country

We live in rural Wisconsin by choice, as if among other things, to retain a little sense of rural simplicity in the presence of ever expanding technological advancements that somehow fail to bring ease and simplify our daily struggles to achieve.

This weekend my wife and I ventured into Amish country more by happenstance than by plan an experienced a close up look at excellence in the midst of a truly simplified lifestyle.  I don’t think they choose their way of life by virtue of it lack hurried anxiety or complexity, but rather to be set apart from the traps of modern society that consume the “English” around them.

What strikes me most is the moral and physical excellent with which they do everything they out their hand to.   Most of them are Wonderfully refreshing people to deal with for their yes means yes (as the Bible teaches) – no double talk or deception.  Whether they are growers or craftsmen, they exhibit great skill, passed down from generation to generation.

I am told that a young Amish watched curiously as I took a quick call on my cell phone – something she may have never seen before.   I did not notice her curiosity, but she was around the whole time we handled our business, and was very well mannered and polite.   One of the young men came up to the shop owner an comment that it felt like rain.   My wife (making conversation) asked if was supposed to rain (as forecast) to which he replied “I don’t know – we like to determine the weather here ourselves.”  She said (to me) a bit later “I’ll bet they are much better at it as well”.

Sandy and I experienced a pleasant variety of things old and new during our 3-day anniversary weekend.  We met some great people and saw how they live life (if only for a bit).  Mostly I enjoyed hanging out with Sandy as we saw some new sites wandered from place to place.  She is the best part of anything I do.   I wish we could spend extended time together somehow each week, but schedules prohibit so we must wait and pray for somethings to change.  Days in the country are precious and few.

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Party in The Park 2011!

We are very blessed here in Central Wisconsin!  This year’s “Party in the Park”  August 5th, was a grand success due wholly to God’s provision.  Community support was very strong and city and school officials were very complimentary of the efforts of many volunteers to set up, staff and clean up after such a huge gathering with many quality afternoon activities offered.

Over 400 people attended the evening concert by “Seventh Day Slumber”.  Many lives were changed and families renewed by forgiveness thru Christ as the testimony of lead singer Joseph Rojas was spoken and the Spirit’s call to repentance was heeded.  Walls were broken down all over among the crowd and countless lives were impacted by the God’s presence.

I am so proud of Jesse and Amanda Roe’s vision and obedience in organization of this event again this year.  By God’s grace they finished the event financially strong with a testimony of humility, and God is still opening doors to them for further impact in service to the local community.  Their clear vision for reaching out to today’s struggling youth is both sincere and active.

Much of my family and friends served skillfully to staff this event.  Many thanks to my daughter Deondra, who took many excellent professional photos documenting this years event.   Central Wisconsin is truly blessed.

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Snowed In, Once Again

As I take a moment to reflect, I realize I have neglected to post here for some time.  Today (Sunday) brings many things unforeseen, mostly good but with some hardships also, for balance I suppose.   A glance out the window shows it snowing and drifting in Northern Wisconsin and with up to 15 inches predicted locally.  It’s good to be stuck home at least with my lovely wife.  The promise of spring is just around the corner so fortunately it is not bitter cold.  Daylight savings time begins in just 3 weeks.

We lost something dear today as we found our 10-year-old chocolate lab spread out and near death when we returned home from church.  She had been battling something unknown for a couple of weeks, and had been suffering from arthritis.  The vets could not find anything during normal tests, but it appeared that her systems just shut down rather suddenly.  Everyone is sad to lose a good friend – especially the grand kids who don’t quite understand that part of life.

We had a typically great church service this morning with our first annual meeting to follow.  Since our original inception in 2006 with five or 6 families, we have grown to 183 people who call our church home.  The time has flown by and it has been a real joy to serve  these folks of various backgrounds as God enables.  The AWANA kids program last week has grown to 75 area kids and the had blast on “lights out night” with luminescent bracelets and flashlights as we ran through the whole program in the dark.

Sandy and I had the pleasure of hosting “The Art of Marriage” conference (produced by Family Life Ministries) last weekend, with 30+ people in attendance.  This conference really touched hearts and lives.  I would recommend this program for anyone who is married.  For info see www.theartofmarriage.com.

Well as I listen to the snow plow outside my window, I pray spring arrives soon and will be upon us hopefully by my next post.  In the meantime I plan to take Sandy to the “A Weekend to Remember” get away on March 18th.  This has also proven to be an awesome experience sponsored annually by Family Life in 90 communities across the nation.

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Thankfulness

It is the eve before Thanksgiving and the end of my office duties for the week. Today was better than most as an associate brought in pumpkin pie to share. The day came and went as fast as the pie. It feels good to have some downtime ahead to spend with family for Thanksgiving.

Today I recall I have much to be thankful for:

  1. I am most thankful for my lovely wife who loves me unconditionally.
  2. I am blessed with five children, two terrific daughter-in-laws, and two wonderful son-in-laws (soon to have another) who all make me proud.
  3. I am honored to have five sweet grand children (another on the way).
  4. I am thankful for my church family which helps me grow in truth.
  5. I have many friends who encourage me, and allow me to encourage them.
  6. I have numerous associates and clients whom I serve that trust my knowledge and skills.
  7. I have my work that pays the bills and plenty of projects to challenge me.
  8. I am the offspring of wise parents and grandparents who passed on to me what was most important.
  9. I’ve found wise mentors who sow good seed into my life.
  10. I have true purpose.

Well this is just 10 things that come to mind for today. May I always be thankful for what God has given me.

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Party in the Park 2010

Friday July 30th our faith community held an open party event in Abbotsford’s Red Arrow Park.  I am very proud of the hard work and organization my son and daughter in law put into this effort enlisting community support wherever they could find it.  It was a true success.  Over 50 kids attended (some we had never before met).  The level of adult support was awesome.  It was fun for all and followed by an outdoor screen movie.

It was hard to mentally prepare for the task ahead after a difficult stressful work week.  I rushed home with unfinished urgent business so I could get perspective in the duty list.  Sound and screen setup were well underway so I ran errands to make sure technical things all worked.  During one of my excursions I scrounged up a needed patch cord and by the time I returned it had begun to rain.  The team had to move speakers into the doorways (under roof) for protection but one of them did not like the trip as the input was now failing.  A bass level buzz was present that could not be tuned away.  It was tolerable, but disappointing.  Just like the rain.  I had been praying for good weather and for open hearts during this event.  The kids were having a great time, but I was still bummed. 

Adults and kids alike played volleyball, “ultimate frisbee”, basketball, football toss, croquet, and of course indoor “guitar hero” and outdoor music.  Less active adults like me served at food and drink stands or like me supervised between errands.  I got to catch up a bit with a couple of old friends.  Couldn’t quite enjoy my self though as a couple of our youth group kids just seemed to be their to break rules. 

They did not do anything illegal or even overtly bad.  Just always pushing set boundaries and showing disrespect for those present in authority.   The details don’t matter but my heart aches for them, as they appear mad at God and anyone obedient to His word.  They have been taught about God, but clearly don’t realize His love for them.   They did not appear to have open hearts, for which I had specifically prayed thru the day.  It began to rain more steadily.  Was God listening?

At dusk we were about to decide move the movie indoors, when word came that the rain was nearly over, so in faith we rallied our equipment and fired things up.  The speaker still buzzed annoyingly but the rain soon stopped.  The movie shown was “To Save a Life” and was excellent.  It touched our hearts.  My son followed up nicely with a thank you to supporters and sponsoring youth group invitations.  A drawing for a door prize wrapped things up nicely and a young seventh grader won the draw – a new IPOD nano.  He was thrilled as was everyone else.   We packed everything up.  Got home about 1:00 AM.

Sunday morning we got to church a bit late, but just in time for sound adjustment during worship practice.  It was childrens Sunday and unknown to me we would celebrate everything God has done this past year through our Youth and Children’s Ministies.  My son Jesse again honored those who were part of the our first “Party in the Park” community outreach.  He asked anyone willing to share something they experienced on Friday night.  Someone spoke about how God had used him during the movie to listen to the story of a young man reaching out in pain.   A mother next testified that a young boy from the community stopped by long enough to meet and share with a few people and feel welcome he could not stay late enough for the movie, but he enjoyed what time he had.  A freind expressed to me separately that another girl had shared openly during movie time with those around her, family issues she was dealing with.  I believe we do not yet know the extent to which hearts were opened Friday night.   It wasn’t God who was not listening.  I am once again amazed.

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Grace Like Rain

It has again been a while since I last posted anything.  My Engineering job has been extremely challenging and takes up more time than ever.  It is however good to have a job.  To some extent I have two.  My good friend and office associate is retiring next week, and another will retire this October.  Makes me feel old if not for the exciting things I’ve seen God do already this year.  He has changed the lives of friends and family and he is definitely not finished with me yet.

It has been a true joy once again to work with AWANA kids this school year and Wednesday is the last night until next fall.  This should give me a needed evening to mow lawn (once I finish repairing the mower).  Touching kid’s lives with God’s truth is a rewarding thing.

I have started reading books again (its been awhile) and learning lots about God’s anointing of His people for ministry.  I had been feeling a bit stuck in my progress of faith, and God spoke volumes to my heart as I read.  He clearly asked me to resolve some things.  This probably should have been obvious, but I needed to His reprimand which He planted deep in my heart to stir me up and make it a priority.  If I had only obeyed from the start (much easier and far more fruitful) there would never have been the need to go back.  Obedience to God’s voice allows Him to show grace beyond words.  Grace like rain!

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Time Well Spent

It’s already the last Sunday in January, 2010.  Last week we spent Sunday evening attending Small Group Study at the Church.  There are lots of other things I need to do in the final hours of my coveted free time, however nothing can compare to time spent in prayer.  God meets you there and sometimes gives you a glimpse of what He is doing and how much He cares.

This week our prayer focus was on the many kids and teens that attend our various functions week to week.  Sandy and I get to serve as Awana leaders each Wednesday evening where we share life and Bible truths with many of them, both English and Latino, as we are a multicultural church community.  Over time you begin to see them one as special in God’s eyes and grow to love them each.  Their smiles are contagious and their hugs are addicting.

I personally teach 5-6 5th or 6th grade boys each Wednesday.  One is super bright and loves everything about our church.  His younger brother is equally bright and eager, but a bit less mature in his faith.  Another is quiet and needs a lot of encouragement to stay on task.  The others are Hispanic brothers, very bright and loving kids that learn eagerly when their attention is focused.  I wouldn’t trade my brief time with them for anything on this earth.

So we took last Sunday evening as a prayer time to thank God for giving us them each, asking him to touch their lives as they begin to know Jesus, and learn His Word.  Some of these kids have committed parents, but others have no one else to encourage them at all, some walk quite a distance on cold nights to reach our doors.   It’s a simple thing, doesn’t cost us much, but God uses simple things and humble hearts to do great things in our lives when we trust Him.

Our teens and young adults were also prayed for as their needs are also great.  It is often said that the youth are the future of the Church.  A friend of mine pointed out the error in this, for they are the Church and through them God is doing even greater things.   Life is fresh.  We are learning together how good God is and how much He cares.

This evening is our last Small Group prayer event and only God knows what is on store.  He faithfully refines our focus each week.  Next week I begin leading a study on “Love and Respect” DVD series on marriage truths from God’s word.   Pray for us as we learn together.

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